by zAutos.com on July 20, 2014
THE 2014 FORD MUSTANG GT CONVERTIBLE REVIEW
Full Review by Andy: An Address to Mustang Shoppers
On Nov. 19, 1863, two men mounted a podium in a blood-soaked battlefield in Pennsylvania. One, a famous senator, eulogized for two hours using a depth of vocabulary that almost drowned the audience in the blunt trauma of its endless lyricism. The other, a lanky lawyer from Kentucky, spoke quietly in the pelting rain for two minutes. The first speech is forgotten. The latter is now known as the Gettysburg Address.
Sometimes, words are too much. So rather than soaking the 2014 Ford Mustang GT Convertible in bombastic admiration → Read More
by zAutos.com on July 14, 2014
THE 2014 SRT VIPER REVIEW
Full Car Review by Andy: The Lethal, Exotic Snake
I am not a supercar driver.
Now I certainly enjoy the race. Put me in Baja mudder or a stock car screwed together in some Kansas garage, and I am raring to go. Put me on a long straightaway in Oklahoma, and I will see how fast I can catch up to the horizon. But about the time 130 mph hits, I remember Newton’s law of inertia, and I see my mangled arm being pecked by buzzards, and I ease off the throttle.
The 2014 SRT Viper is for the drivers who keep going, buzzards and Newton be damned.
According to Newton’s conservation of momentum, being hit by an SRT at full tilt is equivalent to being trampled by an elephant galloping at 80 mph. → Read More
by zAutos.com on July 12, 2014
THE 2014 Chrysler 300 SRT8 REVIEW
Full Car Review by Andy: Sui Generis
It is tempting to dub the 2014 Chrysler 300 SRT8 an overachieving goody-two-shoes. It has ace crash test scores from both the insurance industry and the federal government. It has a roomy, airy, split-folding rear seat and a cavernous 16.3-cubic-foot trunk. There are no spoilers, no hood scoops and no flaming, giggling skulls emblazing the doors. Safe, clean, stylish and mom-approved, the 300 SRT8 could (almost) pose as an executive car.
But goody-two-shoes do not have HEMI engines. Goody-two-shoes do not have dual exhaust pipes the color of shadow and gleaming carbon fiber interior inlays. They lack badassitude, while the Chrysler 300 SRT8 is rolling in it.
The Romans might have called the 300 SRT8 sui generis, that is, one of a kind. → Read More
by zAutos.com on July 6, 2014
THE 2014 HYUNDAI ACCENT HATCHBACK REVIEW
Full Car Review by Andy: The Affordability Clause
Stuck in many a sales pitch, like a bone splinter hiding malignantly in a slice of ham, is the affordability clause. The language casually reads, “The A–, one of the best vehicles in its class, is an affordable –” and so forth, and thus in a few deft words, the vehicle is neatly and condescendingly consigned to the top of an unimpressive class captioned, “affordable.”
But what does an affordable car look like without the affordability clause? What if a car was measured based on its raw capabilities and not on preconceived predictions and predications?
Exhibit A: the 2014 Hyundai Accent hatchback. → Read More